First of all, I am not against Tinder, in fact I have it. For my friends and I it started off as one of those funny apps where you could all laugh at people that popped up whom we knew in real life. Take note of REAL LIFE; I will come back to this.
As my housemates and I were round the dining room table one evening we began discussing this app of which we’d heard resulted in interesting date stories for other friends. The conversation escalated and ended up with me being used as the Tinder guinea pig. We all gathered around my phone to swipe left and right at the many men in the surrounding area and gradually what started as ten minutes of swiping, turned into over an hour. Oh dear, this really was addictive, and entertaining, and exciting – all at the same time.
That is the thing with Tinder, it begins as a novelty, something you can use to find attractive men or women, and the excitement of whether the ‘really hot guy with amazing abs’ has liked you back also. Chances are though said guy will actually never speak to you, in fact he’s probably using the app for entertainment purposes also. This quite frankly is dissatisfying and gradually the novelty wears off. Are you actually using the app for a laugh or deep down are you hoping your perfect match may appear suddenly one day?
The people that do begin a conversation with you after the initial match are the ones that give you this hope. However a few messages into the conversation you probably realise that just because your shared interests involve liking bands, artists or even one of those pages on Facebook with names such as ‘If she doesn’t know who loves orange soda, she’s too young for you bro’ does not actually mean you are a match made in heaven.
As I said before I’m all up for using it for a bit of a laugh, and sometimes it does result in funny conversations. However I am yet to meet any one I have spoken to; my only offer for a date was to go to Spoons on a Friday night – hmm as lovely as that sounds, I think I’ll probably pass.
Looking at Tinder from a positive point of view, I do know people that are in relationships now who only met because of the app, which is great!
I’m entirely for the way in which social media is developing, I think sometimes we just need to put our phones down, and look at what is in front of us right now. I’m 23 next week, does it matter that I’m single? No, because I am completely happy. Instead of wondering if the next swipe is going to reveal a gorgeous person but also with an amazing personality, we should look around at what we already have in our own lives, in our REAL life. Value the friends and family you already have, and the faces you see on a daily basis.
Next time you’re in a bar talk to that girl or guy stood next to you, in a queue at a shop smile at those around you, be open and willing to meet new people. After all it is possible to meet new people in person, and not only through these apps. You could be ignoring something potentially amazing in front of your eyes whether it is a relationship or even just a fresh new friendship. It’s time to make more of an effort to communicate face to face, so we do not slip into a world where we hide behind our screens.
A thought to conclude on – a friend and I were discussing how in 40 years time; an app like Tinder could potentially become the predominant way in which people actually meet each other when seeking relationships, could you imagine that?